Перевод песни MF Doom – Kookies

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One little evening alone home
End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
And here I am, known for giving heavy back aches
Grown and living off of Little Debbie snack cakes
Supposed to be checking e-mails
All I got is messages from ass-naked females (Cookies)
I don't know a Jenny
She said it's free and I won't owe her a penny
And that's the last time I saw her
But thousands of more horrors on online Gomorrah
And Sodom, they got 'em with they curls out
And they got a better sales pitch than the Girl Scouts
I wonder what I owe her
For a whole box of caramel coconut samoa
(Night, night) Okay honey, sweet dreams
Now it's time to get serious like Peek Freans
A metal hand full, wipe it on the quilt
Wife wake up and I'm kill't over spilt milk
Locked in, looking at your picture
Fully clothed winter and I right there with ya
Thinking about the last time I split your wishbone
A man could only wish you could do the same till he get home
Fat chance, at least he get snacks
That will have to do till a brother get back
Until then, smack One-Eyed Jack
And hope one of his peoples can hook him with a tri-pack
That's three different flavors
Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry wafers
Acting all hard, bout to get beat up
I'll show him what time it is once I get this sheet up
Soon as he fell off the beat down
All I hear is, «Thirteenth cell, put the sheet down»
Damn CO, what the hell do she know
Besides the fact she wanna get dug out on the d-low
A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
Out in the mountains and I stopped drinking again
In the wee hours, he's gotten farther
Needing three showers, being hot and bothered
The whiz with her legs bent, pregnant
God bless the day she wondered where her egg went
I need a L, it's hard to drink without it
And could use some cookies but trying not to think about it
Watching BET on jazz for knowledge on file
Every other commercial, college hoes gone wild
Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch, like we got for lunch
Chocolate fudge butter crunch
Don't mess with the Ritz Bits
Wheat Thins, Saltines, or Triscuits (No)
Matzos or Cheez-Its
Catch sugar fits every time that he sees a nice pair of
Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk
Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk
Even the Oreos, no matter what weather
Always kept 'em dipped in milk and stuck together
In the game he's shameless
Even uses a codename Famous Amos
It's cheaper than a short stay at the day's inn
And good like twenty-five cent oatmeal raisin
Give a hand to who invented the camera
Never mind the gingerbread man or the grandmas
Shh, make sure she don't wake from her dream chill
Or get caught with a handful of cream fill
(Cookies) It might seem ill
(Go wash your hands)
Cookies
(Oh, cookies)
We shall now vote for a new world leader
I nominate DOOM
All in favor say, «Aye»
(Aye) Oh no
(Point blank)
DOOM is master of the world
(I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book)
You've disturbed me for the last time
Hey you know something gang?
That DOOM ain't really all bad
(What do you mean Ben?)
Well on account of him, I'm having real good time I mean
Between you and me, I kinda like being black
(Well maybe if we're lucky, he'll attack us once more and send you back
Benjamin)
Haha very funny, very very funny
(He must be mad)
No, if anyone can do it
Nevertheless let's get out of here while we can
(Food, we need food)