Перевод песни Handsome Boy Modeling School – Dating Game [Skit]

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Talk show host:
And we’re back. Alright Becky, before our handsome bachelors reveal themselves
You have one last question to ask before you decide to go on that big date
OK. Handsome bachelor number one
On our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress me?
Bachelor 1 (Jay-Z):
So that’s a… that’s a good question ma
This is what I would do to impress you
Well first of all, you know where I might take you?
I might take you over Dame’s house
Oh, really?
Bachelor 1:
Cus my girl’s at the crib. And… then what I would do is…
I’d get you the finest drink, of course it’s gonna have ice in it
And I don’t mean frozen water… huh, ya know?!
That’s so sweet
Bachelor 1:
And uh… what else would I do to really…
I’d take you to Rodeo Drive, of course. Of course
I love Rodeo
Bachelor 1:
Ima take you to Rodeo and show you all the beautiful stores
And what you could have if your record goes number one like mine haha
That’s what I would do to… pretty impressive ain’t it?
OK, sounds like fun
Same question, handsome bachelor number two
Bachelor 2 (RZA):
Yo, to impwess you to take you out on a perfect womantic date
My idea for that is… to pick you up in a Wu mobile, bwought to you by Cwysler
A Wu mobile?
Bachelor 2:
You know, the cowabowation, that we just came wit
And den, I take you upstate, to the amusement park, Wu-tang amusement parks
Ooh, I love parks!
Bachelor 2:
Word, we wide all kinda wollercoasters and fewwis wheels
Mm, that’s my favorite!
Bachelor 2:
Eat all kinda cotton candy, popcorn and shit
And den, to welax you, or you know, give you a beauty treatment
I’ll take you down to the Wu spa
We got all the special manicuwists out there, you know, putting it down
Sounds good
Bachelor 2:
And to end all the night, you know, maybe we’ll have a womantic dinner
Order out some Chinese food fwom Wu delivewy. We dewiwer 24 hours a day
Word. Just call us on the tewephone, hit me, or…
Or you could hit me on the 2-way, or Bwackbwewwy account
Wow! That maybe difficult to top!
What would you do handsome bachelor number three?
Bachelor 3 (Ladies' Man):
Yeah, listen. Can you repeat that question again please?
Oh, ok. You want me to repeat the question?
OK, on our first date, where would you take me and how would you try to impress
Bachelor 3:
That is a very good question. Heh, you’re very charming
Thank you!
Bachelor 3:
Well, on the first date with me is… is very exciting
I would, of course, take you wherever you wanted to go
If the plans was up to me, I would take you… to uh… to NASA
Bachelor 3:
What we would do is we would take a trip up that elevator
And we would go and look at the stars, and I will pack us a picnic basket
Bachelor 3:
And I would have us all kinds of… alcohol beverages
I would whip out… that’s right… I would whip out a diamond necklace
Put it around you sweet, skinny neck
And touch you in places that no doctor has ever discovered on you before
Bachelor 3:
And then I would slowly caress your breasts
Work my way down to your… sweet lovin thighs, and then…
Talk show host:
OK, time’s up
We’ll find out your answer, Becky, after this commercial break