Перевод песни Adam Sandler – Pibb Tries the Skateboarding

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Alright, Mr. Pibb, those kneepads on tight enough?
Snug as a bug in a rug playin Dig Dug, my friend!
Uh huh…
I’m all set to give this skitchboard a whirl!
Okay, we should really put a helmet on you first…
Well… helmet has the word 'hell' in it, and I don’t know about
You, sonny, but I ain’t no sinner…
No, you’re not…
When my time comes, I’m on my way to heaven, so I won’t
Be puttin one of those demon contraptions on my head!
Okay, Pibb… Just remember that the half pipe ain’t the easiest
Thing to do…
Never mind all that, boy! It’s only half the pipe! Let’s be concerned
When they got the whole thing here!
Now can we get to the skitchboardin?
Okay, okay… How bout we just get you on the board?
Can do!
Make sure you keep your knees bent…
Can do do!
Good job…
Now how bout a little pushky to get me started?
Okay, but go easy
Hell, this is simple as a pimple!
Yeah, yeah, you’re doin pretty good there buddy!
It’s quite similar to my youth when I’d sprinkle my brother’s
Marble collection all over the basement floor, glue a plank to
My feet, and skim around all the live long day!
Is that right?
Oh, how my father detested that sound!
I’m sure…
Ho, ho
Ha, yeah… you better take it down a notch there, Pibb… you’re
Startin to pick up a little too much speed…
Nonsense, check this out! Whoo, hoo!
You got some air there, Pibb, lookin like a natural!
It’s all about the balance, and I’m darn good with that! Just
Ask my banker! Hahaha
I’ll get right on that…
Say, what’s the record for loop-de-loos on one of these things?
Uh… rotations?
Well, ain’t you fancy?
Yeah, Tony Hawk did a 900 once, that’s two and a half rotations…
Oh, I can stick that!
Don’t try that, Pibb…
Here we go!!! Ahhhh!!!
Shit! Oh, shit! Are you alright, Mr. Pibb?
Is there a doctor in the house?!